Their, There, They're - Introducing the Hemingway App

FINALLY! An app that will teach the grammatically challenged (everyone on Twitter) the difference between their, they're and their, your, you're, where, and were... Just kidding. This new literary editing app doesn't do anything as simple as teaching you what you should have learned in the second grade.

"Hemingway makes your writing bold and clear." Declares the app's website. Created by brothers Adam and Ben Long, the Hemingway App does however allow you to copy and paste your soliloquies into a field, then the application assesses your level of writing, and grammatical errors.

For example, if passages are highlighted red, your sentence is unnecessarily long, complex and wordy, which is undoubtedly my perpetual literary mistake. See. If your passage is highlighted yellow, your sentences are again, long and complex but this time with common grammatical errors.

Blue is for those unbidden adverbs, green highlighting means you've lapsed into the past tense which is I guess, by definition, according to this Hemingway App that is, stupid writing. 

I'm sure y'all won't copy and past your text messages into this app unless like me, you're lexicon anal. But thinking about some of Papa's (Ernest Hemingway) most prolific writings, I'm not sure if this app would agree with his tense and verb usage either. Yeah, yeah. He's known for his short, declarative sentences that annoyingly force me to read in a staccato rhythm in my head despite myself, but that was his writing style. 

My verdict? Grammar rules, incorrect vocabulary usage, tense sins, they can be judged and tried. But if my long wordy sentence has correct grammar, and utilizes the right number of commas and semicolons, who gon' check my writing boo? Not some app. 

Style is subjective, and until someone puts A.I. in an app, I'm not sold on anything but human ability to judge it. Nice try though.